"We're gonna find the salami and the bratwurst and pepperoni and Vienna sausage!!! YEEEAAAHHH!!!"It's official: Howard Dean's raison d'être is to serve as perpetual fodder for conservative bloggers.
As we all hopefully know by now, DNC Chairman Howard Dean, in an unusual lapse of judgement as per his usual rantings, mistakenly used the expression "hide the salami" in a completely inappropriate context.
Of course, Mr. Dean is not exactly known for stating his arguments in any particularly coherent manner. A few (untrue) examples:
On the federal response to Hurricane Katrina: "Honestly, when a city like New Orleans gets blown as badly as it was, you'd think that the Administration would really make more of an effort to help the victims get the protection they so sorely need."
On the possible upcoming indictment of Karl Rove: "The White House has turned into a cesspool of corruption, and with this Hot Karl controversy looming, it looks like the Republicans are going to be playing the five-digit disco for a long time to come."
On the infamous Gitmo/gulag comparisons made by Sen. Durbin: "Look, I've worked with Dick for a long time; I've dined with Dick; I've even spanked the monkey with Dick. Some may accuse us of being kissing cousins, butt buddies even, but those people are just jealous that when it comes to us Democrats and our message, we aren't afraid to pitch a tent in the Republicans' back door."
On the President's last trip to Europe: "Look, Bush can go to the Eiffel Tower and back, but that doesn't mean he can do the boom-shaka-laka-laka-laka-boom-shaka-laka-laka-laka-boom-shaka-laka-laka-laka-boom like I can do. If you ask me, the President got Frenched. Hard."
On the concern of an avian influenza pandemic: "If the Administration thinks that bird flu is suddenly going to make us all jerk our chickens, they've got another thing coming."
On the shuttle launch: "I don't think that with a swelling deficit you should spend our tax dollars on a red rocket. You might as well pitch a trillion dollar barn, and you'd get the same result."
On patriotism: "We don't need to raise the flag all the time. I mean, is it realistic to be expected to stand at attention just because some old corpse from World War II is passing by? Excuse me for bring a Fergus Nelson, but I hardly see how serving one's country automatically makes you deserving of respect. And I do mean cunt-ry."
On the War on Terror: "So what if some Afghans and Iraqis fingered the ballot box? The fact remains that our troops have shed a crimson tide's worth of blood, and no amount of dating Miss Michigan will change that. Oh sure, Bush will go on television and deliver another one of his afternoon delights, but the fact remains that with our boys over there [in Iraq] bumping uglies with Arabian goggles, we risk bouncing the bearded clam. We have not found the 'smoking gun'; we have not even found a chocolate gun. The President's misadventures are getting our salad tossed around the world and have been nothing short of a colossal boner."
Howard Dean, thank you. Just... Thank you.
Check out the intended innuendoes of my friend Feisty Republican Whore, who posted her thoughts on the matter yesterday.
5 praise(s):
I can't believe you said "butt buddies" and "fingered the ballot box".
MMMMM! Bratwurst....
That was great... absolutely great!
"...bumping uglies with Arabian goggles... bouncing the bearded clam..."
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? LOL
Wow. I haven't even heard some of those quotes -- good grief!
Who writes this guy's speeches? DailyKos? Democratic Underground?
Nope - on second thought, those would be much more sensible.
You're in true form, dude!
Glad that church-camp this summer paid off! ;)
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