"Who am I? Why am I here?"Comedian Jerry Lewis postponed a July engagement to perform live after suffering a heart attack Sunday that a casino spokeswoman described as "mild."
"At present, he is under hospital care and is expected to make a full recovery," said Candi Cazau, spokeswoman for the Orleans hotel-casino in Las Vegas, where Lewis was to perform July 13-16.
Fearing for the health of their Nation's patron Saint, the French did what they do best in times of crisis: They destroyed their prestige and wealth in a vain attempt to avoid further harm. Euronext Paris stocks declined a whopping 88%, most notably in the sour grapes industry.
"Our only source of entertainment was almost lost!" Parisian investor Adrien de Villepin lamented. "Now all we have to pass the time is rioting."
Administrative assistant Renée Sarkozy noted, "I was so distraught that I couldn't work all day. You try sitting at a desk for seven hours with only twelve breaks under these conditions!"
French President Jacque Chirac is expected to declare a National Month of Mourning for the stricken comedian just as soon as he can stand erect after literally bending over backwards topleasure satisfy irate labour leaders who have besieged his office and burnt his car.
Angry Frenchmen took to the streets to demand expanded research into heart disease, completely ignorant of the fact that Lewis suffers from pulmonary fibrosis, a crippling lung ailment. The mob shouted, "Aucun Professeur, Aucun Travail!" Or when translated, "No Professor, No Work!" They grew concerned that health problems might delay Lewis' directing of the Broadway musical version of The Nutty Professor.
Polls show that whilst the French public are split as to whether or not they think the American comedian will fully recover (51-48%), an overwhelming majority, 91%, believe that his hospitalisation is somehow U.S. President George W. Bush's fault. Note that there is a margin of error of 3.5%.*
*Give or take a hundred.
"At present, he is under hospital care and is expected to make a full recovery," said Candi Cazau, spokeswoman for the Orleans hotel-casino in Las Vegas, where Lewis was to perform July 13-16.
Fearing for the health of their Nation's patron Saint, the French did what they do best in times of crisis: They destroyed their prestige and wealth in a vain attempt to avoid further harm. Euronext Paris stocks declined a whopping 88%, most notably in the sour grapes industry.
"Our only source of entertainment was almost lost!" Parisian investor Adrien de Villepin lamented. "Now all we have to pass the time is rioting."
Administrative assistant Renée Sarkozy noted, "I was so distraught that I couldn't work all day. You try sitting at a desk for seven hours with only twelve breaks under these conditions!"
French President Jacque Chirac is expected to declare a National Month of Mourning for the stricken comedian just as soon as he can stand erect after literally bending over backwards to
Angry Frenchmen took to the streets to demand expanded research into heart disease, completely ignorant of the fact that Lewis suffers from pulmonary fibrosis, a crippling lung ailment. The mob shouted, "Aucun Professeur, Aucun Travail!" Or when translated, "No Professor, No Work!" They grew concerned that health problems might delay Lewis' directing of the Broadway musical version of The Nutty Professor.
Polls show that whilst the French public are split as to whether or not they think the American comedian will fully recover (51-48%), an overwhelming majority, 91%, believe that his hospitalisation is somehow U.S. President George W. Bush's fault. Note that there is a margin of error of 3.5%.*
*Give or take a hundred.
2 praise(s):
You know, Lewis is starting to look like Shatner...
the french are retarded. listen to for those in transit. they dont get heart attacks.
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