Mother Nature: Republican Operative?

For the third time in less than a month, CNN has aired a report investigating the connection between falling gas prices and the GOP's fortunes in the looming fall election.

In a related story, the less active hurricane season has some political observers wondering: Is Mother Nature lessening her wrath to help ensure the Republicans retain both Houses of Congress?

"It's interesting that the weather has been so tranquil," Columbia University Political Science Professor Noom Chumpsky muses, "With less devastating storms, oil prices have plummeted, and gasoline has followed suit. Coincidence? I think not!"

Mother Nature is no stranger to politics. From her hypnotising a rabbit to attack former President Carter to her raining on the opening of the William J. Clinton Presidential Centre and Park, Ms. Nature is certainly not a non-partisan figure.

Environmental Studies Professor Warm Churchore of MIT asserts: "Mother Nature's tacit refusal to ravage the Gulf Coast and cripple oil refineries does not bode well in our efforts to promote vehicles that run on alternative fuels, such as corn, wheatgrass and Al Gore's ego."

When reached for comment, Mother Nature's publicist stated that the allegations were "patently untrue" and that "even if Ms. Nature were some sort of GOP crony, she would certainly have used her control of the weather to kill these conspiracy theorists ages ago."

In unrelated news, Professors Noom Chumpsky and Warm Churchore were found brutally bruised and mangled on the side of a road in rural Kansas. They were reportedly covered in "hail-sized wounds" and a local zoo's population broke free from their cages and mauled the two pedagogues.

No charges have been filed against Mother Nature at this time.