General Tso, you truly are a tantalising bastard.After the horrible shootings at Virginia Tech, local Chinese buffet Cho's Chicken is suffering the brunt of an apparently confused populace.
"How can a mass murderer even think of opening a restaurant, especially posthumously?" cried resident Bill Brady.
The owner of Cho's Chicken contends that he has no relation to Seung-Hui Cho, a disturbed South Korean student who took 32 lives at Virginia Tech before committing suicide.
"I actually tried out a little joke with the press," the restaurant's owner, Wen Tsing Chow - who has since added a "w" to his last name to effectively de-Korean it - explained. "Unfortunately, the expression, 'More Chos than a Chinese 'phone book' makes no satirical or anatomical sense."
Once considered a popular restaurant with plans to expand, Cho's Chicken is but a hollow shell of its former self. There is so little demand for Chow's food that he can no longer afford to supply his customers with high-end products. (Or at least what qualifies for "high-end" in Chinese-American cuisine.)
Indeed, Chow now has to write his own fortunes for the cookies traditionally served at the end of a Chinese meal. “Eventually, most of the fortunes devolved into crude 'Yo mama'-type lines,” Chow admitted.
The owners of the similarly unpopular McVeigh & Hussein Law Firm and the Unabomber Café were unavailable at press time.
"How can a mass murderer even think of opening a restaurant, especially posthumously?" cried resident Bill Brady.
The owner of Cho's Chicken contends that he has no relation to Seung-Hui Cho, a disturbed South Korean student who took 32 lives at Virginia Tech before committing suicide.
"I actually tried out a little joke with the press," the restaurant's owner, Wen Tsing Chow - who has since added a "w" to his last name to effectively de-Korean it - explained. "Unfortunately, the expression, 'More Chos than a Chinese 'phone book' makes no satirical or anatomical sense."
Once considered a popular restaurant with plans to expand, Cho's Chicken is but a hollow shell of its former self. There is so little demand for Chow's food that he can no longer afford to supply his customers with high-end products. (Or at least what qualifies for "high-end" in Chinese-American cuisine.)
Indeed, Chow now has to write his own fortunes for the cookies traditionally served at the end of a Chinese meal. “Eventually, most of the fortunes devolved into crude 'Yo mama'-type lines,” Chow admitted.
The owners of the similarly unpopular McVeigh & Hussein Law Firm and the Unabomber Café were unavailable at press time.
2 praise(s):
Nice piece of satire! I found it most amusing.
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Sarah
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