Phyllis, what the hell, dude?
Juno was one of the awesomest movies ever, and all you can do is bash it as
"explain[ing] feminism".
Really, Phyllis? There was no redeeming value at all? Let us review your review (wait, what?) point-by-point:
"Juno," which won an Academy Award for best original screenplay, is a movie sure to delight the feminists.Actually, it did not. For example, Hadley Freeman of the far-Left
Guardian newspaper
lamented that
Juno was yet another American comedy in which abortion is presented as "unreasonable - unthinkable". He then launched into a rant about evil Republicans, falling abortion rates and rising teen birth rates.
The script answers No to the question posed in the title of Maureen Dowd's book, "Are Men Necessary?"What?! Juno's father plays a key role in reconciling her fall-out with her boy friend. More on that in a bit.
Juno is the name of a bratty 16-year-old girl (and I do mean "girl" because she's too immature to be called a woman).And Phyllis is the name of an 83-year-old crone (and I do mean "crone" because she's too much of a biddy to be called a woman).
She finds herself in what the feminists call an unplanned pregnancy after initiating a loveless one-night incident with a classmate named Paulie.No problems, here. Continue, crone.
After the sex, Juno ignores Paulie, treating him as a total irrelevancy. He has nothing to say about her predicament or her decision any more than any other classmate on the high school's cross-country running team.Well, I suppose that's right assuming you completely ignore the scene in which Juno tells Paulie she is pregnant and getting an abortion, which he (wrongly) consents to.
Juno's first response to her pregnancy is to head for the abortion clinic. She changes her mind after passing a pro-life activist carrying a sign and being told that the baby has "fingernails."The existence of fingernails seems to be what motivated her to reject abortion. Even so, Juno never refers to what she is carrying as a baby; she always calls her unborn child an "it." The "pro-life activist" just so happens to be one of Juno's class mates. I thought that one of the key arguments of right-to-lifers was just how human the unborn really were? Are we not the ones who show pictures of foetuses sucking their thumbs and even smiling? And why is the callousness of the clinic secretary ignored? Is it not true that abortion clinics are notorious for having a disturbingly inhuman attitude towards their patients? And what about the sonogram scene, which clearly shows the baby as he moves and kicks?
And since when is it uncommon to refer to unborn children using gender-neutral pronouns? Juno isn't a right-to-life activist; she is a terrified teen-aged girl who just wants to get through her pregnancy responsibly. And why is the scene in which her stepmother reassures her father that the child is a "precious gift from baby Jesus" ignored? Because it wouldn't fit into Phyllis's dishonest narrative, perhaps?
Juno makes her decisions solely on her own whim. She doesn't permit her parents, or Paulie, or anyone else to have any input or advice about what she will do with the baby.That directly contradicts what you just said! "The existence of fingernails" didn't just materialise out of thin air. She is influenced by one of her peers to do the right thing and save her child. Yes, she is headstrong, but as we will see later, that has negative consequences which are clearly expressed by the film.
Meanwhile, this Academy Award-winning script is laced with dozens of obscenities and references to teenagers' sexually-active lifestyle. We get the drift of what they are taught in school when we see a public school teacher putting a condom on a banana.(GASP!) Obscenities?! References to teen-agers' sexually-active life-style?! High-school sex-education?! Dear God! It's like they were trying to make the movie realistic, or something! Next thing you know, they'll say the word
pregnant! How
dare such accurate trash be given an Academy award, which you have now mentioned for the second time?
Juno decides to give her thing to a prosperous childless yuppie couple who can provide all the material things of life. From a newspaper ad, she finds the perfect parents: Vanessa and Mark.Juno's baby seems destined to live in a happy home until Mark realizes that his wife has suddenly pushed him out of the loop of her affection and attention. The movie's message is that no man should have anything to say about a baby for whom he is financially responsible.No, the message is that a real man would stand up for himself and assert his right to equality within his marriage. And again, were you asleep during the scene in which Juno consulted Paulie about the pregnancy?!
With the impending arrival of the birth date, Mark realizes Vanessa doesn't need or want him any more. So he decides to move on.No, Mark deceives his wife by not confronting her about their future before telling Juno about his plans to leave Vanessa. Mark also sexually harasses Juno by suggesting that she run away with him. Mark is the villain, and Vanessa is the victim, not the other way round.
All Juno's happy talk about placing her baby in a good home with loving parents is forgotten. Mark's departure breaks the adoption contract, and Juno could easily have found another two-parent home.But that was not important to Juno. She gladly gives the baby to Vanessa where he will become one more statistic of a boy raised in a fatherless home.This is the crone's one legitimate criticism: The fact that the child is left in a single-mother household is presented as being on par with raising a child in a household with married parents. But Schlafly does not take into account the fact that Vanessa could very well find another man who loves and appreciates her, as well as the fact that Vanessa wants to be a mother and would be a far better parent than many of the unstable couples who could have adopted the child.
The movie delicately portrays the birth of Juno's baby, but that's certainly not because feminists think delivering an illegitimate baby is preferable to killing him in utero. It's because a movie about a birth produces an adorable pictorial result, while pictures of an abortion are ugly, depressing, and ... well ... not good advertisements for feminism.There's just no pleasing this crone! It's damned if you do, damned if you don't with her. It's not like there's
ever been a film which portrayed abortion in a positive light, right? (COUGH!)
Vera Drake! (COUGH!)
The Cider House Rules!The theme of this movie isn't love, romance, or respect for life, but the triumph of feminist ideology, i.e., the irrelevancy of men, especially fathers. The men in the movie are likable, but marginalized; beyond their sperms and their paychecks, they have no value worth considering, and can be thrown overboard by independent women and girls. It is Juno's biological father who raises her and her biological mother who leaves her. It is Paulie who scolds Juno for her double-standard of complaining about his going to the prom with another girl when it was she who demanded that they be distant. It is Juno's biological father who convinces her to reveal her true feelings to Paulie, which gets them back together.
The movie portrays the adoption as a good outcome, but it is not. The baby will grow up without a real or even a surrogate father, and Paulie, the father, is not asked to approve the adoption or to sign the adoption papers.Some day the child will ask why he does not have a father. The truthful answer is that feminism has made fatherlessness acceptable in our society.And how do you know that Vanessa will never re-marry? And how is Paulie the victim, again? Could he not have asserted his rights as the child's father in order to play a greater role in his life? Why are all men suddenly weak and unable to do things?
Juno does whatever she wants regardless of the consequences. That's a sign of immaturity, not maturity.Her parents warn her not to visit Mark in his home alone, and she does it anyway. She has no qualms about disobeying her parents and contributing to the destruction of Mark and Vanessa's marriage.Oh, I see. Mark just couldn't control himself, right? That evil succubus Juno just happened to waltz right in to that house and spread her legs for poor, defenceless Mark, who could not possibly have told Juno that she should leave because of the inappropriate nature of her visits. Mark is
totally the victim.
America is in bad shape if the financial success of this movie reflects today's high school culture: sexual activity without marriage, crude pictures on the walls, vulgar language, a girl smoking a pipe, unattractive clothes, uncombed hair, enjoyment of slasher movies and weird music, and marriage breakup.Women smoking something other than Lady Slims?! Skirts above the knee?! Hair not done up in a proper bun?! Oh, my stars! Some day, the Negroes may even have the right to vote!
In the end, Juno decides she could like Paulie after all. Paulie is supposed to just get over the fact that Juno gave away their baby to a single woman.No, Juno's strong father figure convinces her to make amends with Paulie, and they mutually agree to not see the child, who they believe "was never really theirs, anyway."
The movie reviews of "Juno" usually call it a comedy. The theater where I saw it was nearly full, but I didn't see or hear anybody laugh.Right, because you were so blinded by your righteous anger and deafened by the grinding of your teeth to enjoy yourself. The audience I was in laughed at every joke, and a good number of those in attendance were elderly couples.
Toward the end, Juno asks if it is "possible for two people to stay happy forever." The movie's obvious answer is no; not Vanessa and Mark, not Juno's father who is married to a woman not Juno's mother, and not any reason to hope that Juno would ever stay married to a good husband.Towards the end of this review, Damian asks if it is possible for Phyllis Schlafly to get off of her high horse and appreciate a film based on its merits and not her own twisted preconceptions. The review's obvious answer is no; Phyllis Schlafly seriously needs to get laid.
